Bashful

What kind of dwarf is Oliver: Bashful. This whole trip he spent hiding behind corners, chairs, legs when forced to talk to a pretty girl. I don't know when this started, but when confronted with interacting with a young lady he was bashful to the point of paralysis. However - getting some attention from the disney princesses did not make him shrink.

Mary Poppins:

Me: Oliver wanted to know where you are from
MP: I'm from London, England. It's far across the ocean. Where are you from?
Oliver: Chicago.
Oliver: The Chicago BEars played the Jets. The Jets have zero and the BEars have fourteen.
MP: Are you talking about sport team?
Oliver: yes, football.
MP: Is it american football?
Oliver: yes, the chicago bears play the Jets.

WTF?


Rapunzel:

R: Are you having fun today?
Oliver: Yeah, I went on the race cars. really fast.

R: I get to race maximus around the castle really fast. Maybe we should have a race
O: Ok

I thought he was going to ask me to schedule a race right then and there, his look was so delighted and serious.

Most of the other interactions were quiet with a lot of hands in the mouth or touching his groin. Weirdo. I don't know where this stuff comes from - but you certainly can't make this stuff up!

Thinking about going to a parenting seminar on preschooler emotions....

Onward!

After the party we made our way to Orlando for the rest of the trip. Graham was thoughtful and made us family tshirts. 

They did some creative editing to have a picture of the Dude holding a Mickey bar.  Classic! I can't wait to get a family picture with this on! 

WDW

To write a post on the entirety of the trip would be challenging. The kids did very well with the waiting for rides. I was pleasantly surprised. Our family favorites were storytime with Belle, the seven dwarfs mine train and under the sea with Ariel. Meeting with Cinderella, rapunzel, and Ariel was also a highlight. 

It was hard to take pictures our first day, since we went for the not so scary halloween party- at night. 

The highlight for the NSSHP was the parade. It was really entertaining and inventive.  

Wedding day!

JThe long anticipated wedding day arrived with joy and excitement. After some romping around in the sea water and pool, I headed out to get my fixed. It was a classy shop. Jocelyn's hair looked gorgeous. Something right out of a wedding blog or magazine. After hair we headed back to the hotel for makeup. It was truly special to help Jocelyn get ready for the big day. 

We could even see the ceremony set up from the balcony. 

Family friends came together to help make the event so unique and flawless. 

Josh stayed with the kids all day so I could be with the bride. What a guy! The kids looked great in their wedding attire. 

I wish I had better pictures- it was all a blur. The ceremony was lovely - a beautiful moment that we will all remember. 

Beach

Today started with an astute observation from Oliver. "Mommy, the orange at the top means the sun is coming up." There was about a 6 inches of bright orange light shining on the curtains in our hotel room. It was time to explore. 

And of course, time to take off your clothes

All this before breakfast. 

Vacation Adventures!

We are just about to burst with vacation excitement. We've counted down the days with our paper rings which helped make the time waiting for the big day more tangible. 

Today, the grand day finally arrived. We packed up and headed out. 

A cab picked us up and hauled the whole family, 3 suitcases, 3 backpacks, 2 car seats, and 1 carry on bag. A true voyage. 

The airport was uneventful.  Amen. 

And the plane ride was just superb. We had enough entertainment and only broke out the electronics for the last 30 minutes or so. Success!!

We arrived in jacksonville with optimism after a safe flight. Post-nap, the kids played at the beach while the bride and I had our nails done. My first dabble in nail art and it certainly won't be my last. 

Mom and Dad covered some babysitting so josh and I could have a nice dinner out at Biscottis. 

It was a delightful meal. One that satisfied our physical and emotional needs. 

I'm ready for this day to be done. With all the success, there was still a set back. Oliver had a hard time socializing when we saw the bride at lunchtime. He was overwhelmed with joy, excitement and a nice dose of social anxiety. I tried talking through what he could do that wouldn't be scary (high five, wave) but he was terrorized with the idea. We had to take breaks outside and he avoided eye contact with the bride for the whole meal. I didn't force any interaction, but I was really embarrassed. Talking later I emphasized that even though he was shy he could still show respect. I hope tomorrow goes better in that area.

All in all, a great day. I hope the rest of the trip can go just as smoothly. 

Adventures in Nursing

IUFD, crash sections, call offs, switching schedules, CBTs, charting, charting, charting. The most challenging part of the week: not seeing the kids from Friday night until Sunday night. It breaks my heart.

TGIF

It's Friday. Officially made it thru one week at the new job. It was tedious but I met a lot of great professionals and look forward to taking care of patients.

Even with the commuting I managed to make 3 homemade meals for dinner. That was an accomplishment for me. Not too long ago I would have pulled into a mcdonalds or ordered pizza. Monday night was therapy night which included a trip to noodles ( per usual) and Friday is pizza night. 

There has been frequent breakdowns into tears by both mom and kiddos. Not simultaneously, though. As the week progressed I could see the behavior for what it was, an attempt to get some attention and affection and I did my best to set reasonable limits and give lots of hugs and kisses. 

I even made it out to CrossFit one night. A while ago I read that if you are doing something to avoid making your kids upset, then that is not a good parenting strategy. On Monday, Oliver asked if I was leaving for my class and I told him I was going on Wednesday only. He cried, but came out of it pretty quickly. When Wednesday came around I said I was leaving for my class and there wasn't a single whine, tear , complaint. In fact, Oliver encouraged me to go.  It was a remarkable moment for me. I realized that if I asked for what I needed, my kids would give it to me. It may take some practice, but eventually they will get it. 

So many times I tell my kids they need to be brave. To try to solve their own problems and work thru the frustration. I wish it was easy for me to follow my own advice. 

A new adventure

I started on my next chapter this week. 

I grabbed up the first L&D job that came my way. This hospital should be a good first job for me. They are working toward baby friendly status, magnet status and bring on a new team of new nurses (me). 

The next two weeks are full of fun classroom learning which changes up the schedule with the kiddos and is causing me some serious anxiety. 

We had to hire a new babysitter to come in the morning to take the kiddos to preschool. With the commute, I see them at the end of the day for dinner and bedtime. It's heartbreaking. Truly. 

The guilt is very real. I missed CrossFit to be with the kids and somewhat regret it. As this new adventure unfolds and gives me new purpose, I'm battling my former purpose. Or at least how to combine the two. 

I'm sure this is no new challenge to working moms. And I'm in full cliche mode here, but it feels very real and specific to me.  I miss my kids, but love having work outside the home. This is going to be a tough one. 

Boom!

We got our fastpass+. We got our fastpass+

Countdown

While the kiddos are at camp I made a countdown for the upcoming vacation. This will help Oliver organize around the idea of travelling. And gets me even more excited for the big trip.

I drew an airplane depicting our travel days and a cake representing the wedding. 

Every day the kids can remove one link until the last day, when we leave for the airport. 

The last details of the trip include fast passes for WDW and the finishing touches on the kids' formal outfits. Only 58 days to go! 

Dont' Laugh, Mommy

So, today Oliver asked me to stop laughing because it made him sad. What!? Yes - apparently when Josh and I talk and laugh it makes Oliver feel bad and sad. He told us to stop laughing and that it wasn't nice. He instantly related some experiences with other children. "It makes other children feel bad when you are laughing and so you shouldn't do it. It makes me sad and mad." Wow, kiddo. You just communicated your first pangs of jealousy.

My response: "Sometimes Mommy and Daddy talk and laugh because we are friends and we like talking to each other. We love you very much, too."

When Oliver takes time to have more than a four word sentence, it's pretty darn important and this feeling he had needed to stop. After I responded he sat in his car seat and started playing obnoxiously to get my attention. It toned down after a while and I hope I said the right thing. I forget how fragile my monster of a boy can be. Even adults struggle with communicating feeling jealous, slighted, ashamed, and unworthy. This kid is starting to get it - AMEN.

Letting Go

"Set intentions - make plans - declare hopes ... and then let go. There may be overwhelm, there may be frustration,but the more we are able to let go, the more room we make for true marvel and wonder. " David and Lisbeth of Sparkle Stories.

This quote is weighing on me. As we are about to embark on our first, true family vacation, I have many ideas of what it is supposed to be like. And terrified of the disaster it could turn out to be.

Starting to plan a Disney vacation was a daunting task. Indeed, planning just 6 months in advance we found a lot of the hotels and activities were already booked. With the invention of the "fast pass" and apps, I worry for future family vacations. Will we have to plan the day-to-day activities two years in advance? What if it rains? What if someone is sick? What if one of the kids is afraid of the rides and refuses to go on? There would be no room left to dive deeper into the experiences of vacation, just follow the schedule. Some of the best memories of being on vacation with family are the mistakes and good fortune we encountered.

When I saw the quote in my email to "let go" it gave me some peace. It may be a disaster, but those are the fun parts, the parts you remember most, so go with the flow. Those moments are a rarity in a life that is scheduled to the hour. And if I say it with 61 days to go until vacation, I might actually have a chance of not being a complete anxiety freak when it finally gets here. Yet another reason to keep singing the Frozen soundtrack. Again. and again. and again. "....let it go..."

Exhaustion

The depths of my exhaustion know no limits. Last night was a whopper of a night - let's recap: Avery wakes up 1030-1200 off and on, Josh goes in to comfort. Oliver screams out at 230. Josh goes in - settles him down and gets ready for work. Oliver comes in my bed at 4am asking for breakfast. So I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Josh had about the same and has to work 14 hours. I thought we'd be over the sleep thing by now...

Family love

After attending a parenting class on sibling rivalry, I was instantly calmed and inspired by this quote from T.S. Eliot,

“There's no vocabulary For love within a family, love that's lived in But not looked at, love within the light of which All else is seen, the love within which All other love finds speech. This love is silent.”

Siblings are the foundation for our relationships in the future and may, indeed, be the longest relationship we ever have with someone. I know that Oliver and Avery have fierce emotions that battle each other throughout the day, but every so often there is a quiet peace between them that rejuvenates my heart. Today, Avery said, "What are you doing, Ollie?" while she sat next to him and the train set. No pulling trains off the track, no stepping on the tracks, no trying to pry a toy from unsuspecting hands. Just curiosity and simply wanting to share space. 

After today's class, I'm reminded that in our most tired moments, we should go to our children and show them that we love them. It's our greatest power as parents.

Here's a picture we took to celebrate Dad's 60th birthday. 60 years and what do you have to show for it? A lot of love. 

Beginnings

Having two children puts documentation in the back seat. Writing this blog will help serve to document our adventures and preserve them for our family. It's also a source of free therapy, a meditation on parenting fails and successes, developmental milestones, and a window on the brief frivolity we can enjoy while the tribe stays true to the call of adventure. Let the wild rumpus start!